Yesterday in amritvela simran this mind finally started concentrating. And as soon as that happened, my mind wandered and got onto the money topic,  then started thinking of all the money people owed it over the years , and that it should go and chase those people for the money.  While it carried on getting more emotional and angry and frustrated – before I knew it my mind was totally absorbed in getting ‘EVEN’ with family and friends.  When I realised it was a real struggle to let it go.   Here were the stages

a) if you have some weakness, that it where maya will get you ..eg may feel you are poor, lonely etc
b) the thought will come in and take root because it is something you desire
c) you will justify it with all kinds of reason, including religious ones ..like I’m only being fair, ‘Its MY money’, ‘they owe me’, ‘Guru made us stand up for ourselves etc

 

Then once the mind has decided that is what it has to do, you notice you cant do any more naam simran, you want to get up right away and start on the new course of action – to fulfill the desire

 

…now without a guru thats as far as your bhagati gets…but with the satguru ji’s kirpa here;s what happened next

 

d) when we couldnt concentrate on naam simran, then realised something was wrong
e) did ardas to baba ji that ‘maya’ had come to rob us and we were in desparate need for baba ji to pull us out of the quicksand
f) imagined maya standing infront of us and just cut her to pirces repeating satnaam satnaam satnaam
g) then the desires diminshed but kept coming back in lesser form ..ok we’ll just get our money from one person….
h) carried on imagining the cool water of satnaam flowing down the body quenching the fire of desire, leaving a sggy mess of ashes on the floor
i) each person we thought of getting even with, we touched their feet and thought only og GIVING them love and more love
j) removed all thoughts of taking anything from anyone, nothing is mine ..mind body and wealth all been given to satguru so how can mind say this is mine  so if its not mine then dont worry about it
h) remember always be a sacrifice to naam, baba ji even if all money goes, property goes, health goes, family goes, may I never forget the satnaam

 

and then the mind was still ,and there was love and the battle was won.  Everything baba ji and sant sangat has told us came and saved us — always think of giving love to others, never think of receivng anything for yourself

 

dust of the saints feet