You have to understand how addictions of thoughts and habits work in the brain. Then catch each thought and reform it and don’t hold them if you want to wash your mind.
“thithay ghariaa” … JapJi tells us to change inside.
Change who? Yourself.
How to change? Sacrifce yourself to the Guru.
What else to change? Selfless service. Forget about thinking about self and about family.
What are you first ? A name – so forget it.
What else are you? Addiction to the family. So kill the family in your meditation. Say to God, “Just YOU and ME, ME and YOU , no one else.” To kill MOH you don’t have to kill your parents, but just kill the desires within the mind. Kill the sickness of desire in the mind.
Everything will break. You have to conquor the mind not the Earth. Kings tried conquering the world didn’t work. Queen Victoria uprooted other families and its happening to her own families.
“Don’t judge anyone only yourself” That should be written in every Temple. You cant change yourself unless you close your eyes. And get under your own flesh, bones and mind. What do you call your “self”? The closer you go to it, you will find its all an illusion. Your sense of self is just smoke. Apply this wisdom.