When faced with tough decisions, keep it simple. Don’t let yourself come under pressure, just keep it simple. Remember that whatever is going to happen, is ultimately going to happen according to God’s Will.
The greatest teaching of the scriptures is not to keep reading and re-reading them. The greatest teaching is to put them into practise. By doing what they say and losing your ego, then you will realise the Supreme within. If you fight the five thieves (anger, greed, attachment, lust and pride) and the worldy wisdom they generate (manmat), then you can beat the mind. Then you can become Gurmukh (God-realised soul). You are not that yet. Remember that nothing of the world is stable. Only Truth and Truthful deeds are stable. Religion is part of the diversity of the Creation, but it is not spiritual. Fighting your own five thieves and conquoring your own selfish self is Truth. You have to conqour your own mind. You have to realise your true self in meditation. Just by doing religious ritual readings of scriptures too fulfill your wordly desires is just leading you more and more into the house of pain.
Self respect is sitting on top of your ego. Ego and pride feed the need for self-respect. How do you get out of the house of ego. In your family parents want self-respect. They want to control the children. The adult children want to be free. One wants to ride the other. It creates a living hell in your family house. If you all just live and let live it would be peaceful.. Let others be free to do their heart. Sacrifice as much as you can for the other. The more you sacrice the higher you go spiritually. Without sacrfice there is no gain. In the world, without sacrificing your own time you cant get paid overtime. Without sacrificing your own wants you cant make a relationship work. The meaning of sacrifice is love. In maya (mammon), sacrificing what you want from maya is the way to go higher spiritually. When you make sacrifices then relationships will last, the love expands, so forever be ready to make a sacrifice.
But in your family to whom do you make a sacrifice – what your parents want? What your wife wants? What your children want? Who to sacrifie to? Well parents want you to do what they say because they are in selfish attachment (moh). Your Dad says, “Stay with me and I’ll leave you my inheritance.” But he is so fearful of losing his son his world starts to crumble. He doesn’t listen to God within him who is saying “Stay with me, stay with me, stay with me.” On the other hand the son wants to live truthfully according to what God within him is saying, but the Dad wont let him go on a spiritual path. Once a King came to Guru Gobind Singh Ji to ask for a blessing for a son and heir. Gur Gobind Singh Ji asked the King, “What will you teach your son, if you are blessed with one?” The King replied, “I will teach him how live like royalty.” Guru Gobind Singh ji wasn’t impressed and replied, “What use is that? Look at you – you’ve done no good in the world. If you want to ask for a child, ask for a Saint soul. The saint will cool down the world.” Making Taj Mahals is a curse. Complete peace is gained only when you become free from desire.
Your mother saying she is in hell, that you have caused her hell is not because of you. Hell is caused by her wanting self respect. That is the greatest fool. You are not a saint yet if you still want self-respect.
Say to your parents, “Thankyou for giving me birth and nurturing me. I respect you and give you my dandauth (humble prostration). But I do not follow you, because I do not want to become lost like you. Now I follow spirituality, like Guru Nanak ji detached from his parents, wife and children. Now I serve God, to realise God, and in doing so you will be saved too. If I follow you then I will end up lost like you and we will all be losers.”