B: Creation, Preservation and Destruction  will never stop.  The game goes on.  Saints come and go.  Religion, country , caste and colour is all illusion because KARAM (actions : game of give and take) overrule evertything.  And BHAAG (God’s good blessings) takes you out but only if YOU EARN IT.


Yet every child is fighting its parents ‘you are old, you had your time, this is time for youth!’
Old is fighting the new.  The old want to overule the God of today in the child, by using things like ‘traditions, dignity, family name, my ego , my offsrping etc’.  But, God of today in the child wants to leave the home and the religion and run away to live in love.  They are the ones who challenge everything .  And the one who can challenge is the saint of tomorrow.


The one who gets taken over by religion and parents are residents of hell forever.  They have blown this human chance in time and place and space.  They are walking hell because they are delusional.  They have let past overtake the present.


MATA JI:  the parents fight the kids for marrying them into caste and religion and kids may be forced to agree after so much chaos in the house.  But the kids will NOT do the same thing to thir own kids.  So just to save one generation they ruin their kid’s love life.  Our daughter is free to fall in love when she is older.  The smile on her face is our pride – not name, religion caste etc.  When she makes her decision, we will accept it. 


B: Never break a child’s heart.  Child and parents know what is right and wrong, so can guide them within that.  But they all know divine law operates and accept that.  Once you know how it works you don’t stop it.  If I know our son is going to a cliff and will die there then I wont stop it because it is divine law and has to happen like that.  Divine law is our guide.  We wont be able to stop the son from going, even if you try to control and tell them not to, the more they will rebel and will go for it.  Divine law is a rubber band : however much you fight with it, is how much its going to snap back on your face.


Parents force their kids to marry where they want, but it comes back as hatred.  And after that any little pain in the kid’s life, the child blames the parent for ruining their life.  But actually it all happens under God’s Will and even all their fights are under INNER COMMAND – God’s command.  Whatever happens is under the Will Of God.  But parents never understood that and wasted the kids life for not knowing this Truth that it is the Will of God.


Because you are not true you don’t understand truth.


Parents sow control; kids get married; nothing goes right and kid goes back to the parents.
First, the child is in the hell (mental turmoil) of an unwanted marriage and that goes back to the parents and puts them into hell (mental turmoil). 


H: With my wife I am ok, but my parents get upset with her.  


B: Just tell the parents that you have not accepted her, if you were Khalsa you would have adopted her. 


The son-in-law was actually the son of the in-laws in a past life/lives.  And the same for daughter-in-law.  She was the daughter of the in-laws in the past.  It has to happen like this to balance out actions from the past.  But, people don’t understand because they don’t see their past lives.  If they knew this they wouldn’t be quarelling. 


To get rid of this bad thinking towards each other in the family I explained past lives of individuals in the congregation.  Then asked the congregation to treat each other like the Guru, become humble and serve each other.
The only moment you’ll be happy is when you see Guru in each others heart and go out of your way to serve each other.  That creates a child like atmoshpere in the house and God prevails there.  Where an egotistical atmosphere exists in the house, HELL prevails.
You are what you think all day – so what are you going to attract from above?  Your own thought is fodder to your own deeds (Baba ji laughs!). 


Just think of the daughter-in-law’s sacrifices.  She left her parents (in India), travelled 8000 km to be with you, she has fear of the unknown, but the in-laws are already worrying what she will be like?   The mother-in-law has fears in her own mind and is on guard.  She picks on differences and builds up walls of hatred instead of forgetting differences and having heart to hearts and building on the good things.


If only the mother-in-law knew that this girl was my daughter in the past and she is coming here to balance things.  And doing any negativity to her is just sowing negativity back for me later.


Only when they have Naam and see God in each other can they create love for each other.  Otherwise they are going to create a bigger hell for each other and they will have wasted this life instead of getting naam profit. 


So make a new law of marriage: Parents tell the son, “You step back from our affections, the daughter in law is our first priorty.  Total love is going to our new daughter and she is going to become our own.”


And it would work if only the daughter in law wasn’t also brainwashed with ‘watch out for the mother in law they are really sly!’


Both are going on guard.  Mother-in-law thinks, “I built this house” and thinks “daughter-in-law is going to take over this house.”   They forget this house is a sickness.  This house is Maya  (distraction from God).  They forget Nanak said this house is just a resting place – an inn – a temporary place for us while we are here in the world.  But they reply ‘NANAK is gone, who cares? Who listens to the scriptures anymore? This is MY house!’


Then they look at other people’s daughter-in-laws and say how good they are, and how bad our one is.  They don’t see good qualites of their own daughter-in-law …grass is greener on the other side.  And the daughter-in-law thinks that other mother-in-laws are better.


It is all (a disease of) MA and THOO – YOU and ME (ego on both sides).


Some are great mother-in-laws never fight, and daughter-in-law says, “she loves me more than my own mother.”    In Maya  there is a saying ‘live and learn’, but Gur-mat (divine wisdom) is ‘learn and live’  that is the scripture , apply divine knowledge to life.  That is the only way to unwind Maya ‘s knot.


S:  I said to mum, “Why don’t you love daughter in law like your own daughter?”  She replied “I do!”.  Then I asked, “Why don’t you hug her and tell her how good she is?”  At which she gets offended ‘YES I DO! I DO THAT!’


B: All lies, total lies!


Mother-in-law actually wants repsect,  thinks “No matter what I do, she should come home and give me respect!”


My mum used to do it as well.  Mata ji comes home from working 8 hours, mum hasn’t done anything all day, but says right away ‘Make us a cup of tea.’  I would say to mum ‘why don’t you let her sit and relax and make your won tea?’   Mum replied, ‘I want her to make me tea!’


Its all to do with preserving her position in the house.  That causes friction in the house, mum complains to others, “my daughter-in-law doesn’t even make me tea!!”


She never thought I could have asked her how is she, come in sit down relax, then later ask lovingly , “how about a cup of tea?”


Mum has her good qualities, but her tongue lashing kills the soul.