Following a car accident, I was in a coma for three days in 1989, aged 38. I went to God’s court but was told its not my time, that I still had a lot of work to do in the world. After recovering, I had four more years of worldy living when the inner command (Hukam) came again. I woke up in the middle of the night to hear the sweetest voice within. God told me to get up and meditate on Naam (Naam Simran). The voice was so sweet, so full of love. It made me despise everything I was. I was determined to wash off everything that I had become. But, I didn’t know how to meditate, I didn’t even know what Naam was. So I got up and went to the Gurdwara in the early hours. I used to wash up dishes, vacuum the carpets, serve the congregation and donate half of everything I had.
Whilst doing service I just clicked my tongue – that was my Naam meditation. After sometime it become the mantra “Waheguru”. After that I used to go into deep samadhi very quickly. Many realms of the mind were conquored. Towards the end I scooped Maya in one hand and threw her down. Then God told me He was so pleased with me he wanted to give me five sacred names for me to create my own organisation and to pass on those five names to others. I said to God that I had seen my previous lives and had been the head of many organisations, but this time I only wanted to know the whole Truth. To know God completely. Then I saw the most beautiful diamond and pierced it in my meditation. Within that, God revealed to me that His Primal Name (Naam) was Truth – “Sat”. And that (Sat Naam) was what I should meditate upon. I did that service of going to the Gurdwara for seven years not missing a day even when I was sick. That was what was written for me, so I couldn’t die aged 38. You can’t die before your time unless you untie the knot like a lover of God who has defeated the Divine Judge.
I used to run a take away restaurant during the early years of my bhagti. One Canadian couple who used to come to eat, had a son who was severely disabled and retarded they thought he was very ill. But, I said their son was actually experiencing Divine Light and he was a great soul. I used to see God in everyone of my customers and would give free food to the poorer ones. I sold the restaurant after four or five years in order to focus mor on loving devotional worship (bhagti).
God makes you dance with joy. I used to dance openly in the Gurdwara congregation, Mata ji (Baba Ji’s wife) used to dance in meditation privately in her bedroom. When 4 or 5 people came to to the first congregation at our house, they would fill with spiritual bliss (amrit) and go "boom" and start dancing spontaneously – they couldn’t control it. God was enjoying his devotee’s love.
The Raag (Indian classical musical scale) unites the male and female energies in the spine. String instruments activate the Crown chakra directly. I first experienced this when I went into samadhi and felt the kundalini energy going up the spine, then I would hear bells. Then in the spiritual realm I would be playing a string instrument. To onlookers at the Gurdwara I would seem to be in a trance state, intoxicated in love, dancing around in classical Indian kathak style, wearing a big smile on my face. And they would notice I seemed to be playing an invisible instrument. They couldn’t hear it but I was intoxicated by the divine inner sound. If you look at some Buddhist drawings or statues, you will see those images are of a saint in spiritual posture that looks like they are holding an invisible instrument. So those saints experienced the same thing.
Lover of God (Bhagat) Dhanna’s Guru joked and said “You can find God in the rock.” Dhanna was serious and loved God in that rock so much, he spiritually sculpted God out of it. Dhanna Ji also had no grudges against his Guru, and saved him as well. I had that same love for God and didn’t hesitate in showing it, by doing unlimited seva and dancing my heart out. I was a monkey, a fool in love. The educated ones slandered me.
While the Gurdwara congregation (sangat) bowed to the scriptures, I was turned around by God with my back to the Guru Granth (scriptures) and bowed to each pair of feet. That’s how I became “Dassan Dass” (Servant of God’s servants). By bowing to each pair of feet that were bowing to the scriptures. I saw God, Scriptures and Congregation as one.
Guru Granth is a book of knowledge under the banner named GOD so people think it is very precious and priceless. Nevertheless it is 99% social, psycholgical evaluation and guidance. Only 1% is union with GOD and miracles. However, the most important thing to understand is the give and take of karma in our social activity. That plays a very big role in our life. The book is only for guidance. And it helps you by addiction. If you believe in anything enough, you can get God out of a rock like Dhanna ji. And if you don’t then you can read all the books like the intellectual Chattar Das (he had 20 camels laden with books when guru Nanak showed him it had just puffed up his ego) and get nothing due to pride of knowledge.
You are actually going to the Gurdwara to commit suicide – to kill the self. Scripture says “I want your head”. But no one wants to give their own head nowadays. It actually means to kill their ego. But they take initiation, stick out their chest, and their ego becomes super-ego. Does anyone take initiation and say, “Now I will only follow what the scriptures say and I will help the poor?” Only those who do become the saints. Everyone else becomes donkeys. Religious leaders have problems in their families and Gurdwaras due to promotion of past beliefs. And due to addiction of traditions, they are not updating it for the people today. They are killing themselves on the sword of ego.
The greatest thing God has created is that without his HUKAM (command) humility does not come.
Without His grace even initiation and religious ceremonies are just a fanfair of the world. Your pre-ordained destiny means God Himself gives you grace, and your mind will be transformed. The moment you hear the inner comand of God you detest ALL your old habits and thoughts. After that never look back.
I had friends I couldn’t live without. Once I had the hukam (the command from God to serve Him by meditating on Naam), I left the world and did devotional worship (Bhagati). Service to others is service to self. Giving peace to others is giving peace to yourself. True selfless service will make you into a laughing Buddha. Why are the people doing charity work not laughing then? Because ego is still there – still not true selfless service. Laughter is your gift from God. The heart that is not laughing cannot love others.
I used to hunt. I have shot birds and eaten them and have suffered for it – so the karma has been balanced. I have gambled, hunted and been a drunk, although I have never borrowed money. I have been through every phase of life – it was written that way. God wanted to show me hell, heaven and the Realm of Truth (Sach Khand) in this lifetime. So when it was written He took me on the spiritual pilgrimage too. Nothing operates without God’s inner command to us.