Transformation of HC & K
On Monday, HC & K pajis returned to the Sangat after spending a few days away with friends. They had stayed one night last Thursday when the Sangat arrived. We think they were coming and going because even though they wanted to believe in Baba ji as their spiritual teacher, they had a lot of doubts, confusions and inner issues holding them back. They are still in their 20s, unmarried and so still quite young and figuring out which way there life is going.
We heard that HC said before he came that wanted some spiritual experience so he would be convinced. Otherwise he wouldn’t follow this path. So coming here was a make or break time for the future of his bhagti. They know a lot about the sangat in the UK as their sisters have been coming for many years, and even they came a couple of times on and off. We felt that perhaps they also came to keep an eye out on their sisters incase something happened.
K paji also described himself as being quite rough, acting hard, fighting for repuation of himself and his family and his religion, and family pride. And that is how they have had to deal with people in the town they grew up in (same town we grew up in!) Lots of Sikh-Muslim tension in their day-to-day dealings and in their family life. Been brought up surrounded by a lot of anti-Muslim people, so obviously has effected their outlook on life. We all become like the Sangat we keep. Opposite of Sat Sangat is known as Ku-sangat, and under Maya, that is what they have mostly had. But, to their great credit, they have always had spiritual yearning deep inside which they have started acting upon, and what a great step to come to Baba ji’s sangat to find out for themselves, rather than listening to other people. K said to Baba ji, “my dad is your biggest slanderer!” And Baba ji replied, “but because of your Bhagti even he will be saved.”
Baba ji said to HC paji, “just looking at you I can see you are into the the gangster kind of fantasy – black patka (hair tied back), facial hair, clothing.”
On the Monday when they came back , sangat was outisde on the grass in the sun sitting around SAT PARBRAHM in Baba Ji as he healed one by one. Baba ji called over HC and kneeled him infront. Baba ji’s eyes where like deep, infinite, oceans of Truth, love and compassion. His voice was of the kindest father. His hugs where of the Mother of the whole Universe, to whom everthing was precious. Infact, Baba ji tore off a small leaf from shrub next to Him, and said to us with so much love, “even this is precious to me,” and put it into his mouth, chewed and swallowed.
We suddenly realised how much deep, infinite love Baba ji has, that Sat ParBrahm has for each and every part of His Creation. He created it, so why wouldn’t he love it – even the parts we ignorantly slander and call disgusting? Baba ji said, “even if a bird shits on my head, I would love it, because I created shit and I only see the beauty in it. And at the same time I am the servant of all, dog of dogs of dogs of dogs …infinitely lowest dog of the Creation.”
This means that even though He is the All-Powerful, All-Pervading Supreme Being, King of Kings, within the Creation He is the invisible servant of all residing in every Hirdha. That He is running the Creation by serving us quietly by providing us with our life force energy (Amrit) and good thoughts. Providing us with food, air and water. Only waiting for us patiently and for millions of years, just to acknowledge His existance within us, to call Him out by remembering His Name – SatNaam. For us to realise that He is the rock of our life, our foundation stone, whom without we can’t do anything. But, He waits patiently because instead of remembering and thanking Him, we have let our ego take control of our senses and it takes credit for everything and likes to hear its own praise. Unable to tolerate any critisism either, even if its told the truth.
For example, we said to Baba ji, “everything material we see around us in this modern society was first just a thought in someone’s mind. Every breakthrough in science has only happened when the thought popped into the scientist’s mind.” And Baba ji replied, “yes, but then the scientist instead of thanking God, says, ‘I did it!’ and chases recognition and awards like a Nobel Peace prize plus all the cash rewards. So God in his Hirdha, sits back again (goes into Sunn Samadh), waits patiently until the scientist gets old and tired of all his worldly achievements and riches and starts looking for inner peace – the permanent satisfaction that he was never able to achieve from all of his external pursuits.
Coming back to HC paji, he was kneeling infront of Baba ji in the sunny garden. HC didn’t know what to expect as Baba ji shone his loving gaze deeply into HC paji’s eyes. Baba ji could see HC’s illusion that, “I am HC, gangster wannabe!” but actually has no idea of what he really is, no idea about the One who is sitting in his Hirdha waiting for him. So Baba ji looked in his eyes and held his head gently and asked him, “who is behind you?” And HC turned his head and physically looked back – no one was there. Personally, we found it really funny, as we knew what Baba ji meant. Baba ji was kind and explained, “no not physically behind your body, but spiritually behind your ego – in your hirdha?”
HC paji had no idea and just looked blankly, then Sat ParBrahm in Baba ji explained, “I am the One sitting in your hirdha, watching everything you say and do.” Baba ji then looked deeply into HC’s eyes again and we felt He connected heart-to-heart and roamed around inside HC’s mind, body and soul to see all his deeds, thoughts, pains and troubles. Baba ji must have also freed him from a lot of internal troubles, because we could see from HC’s face he had felt something spiritual. Then Baba ji hugged him close to his bosom and gave him all the love in the whole Creation.
Later in the evening after the kirtan was over the sangat were having langar wherever they could find a seat inside and outside. K paji spoke to us. He said that he couldn’t believe he was here. We explained that it was his great, good destiny – Bhaag.
“Bhaag hoa gur sant milaaiaa.
Prabh abinaasee ghar meh paaiaa.”
By great good destiny (bhaag), God in the Sant (Gur Sant) was met.
Then the Indestructible God was realised within myself.”
K paji continued that he couldn’t believe that such a low and bad person like himself was here with Baba ji and Sangat, because just last week he was plotting how to take revenge on someone. That it had totally consumed him and had been building up within him for years and especially in the last few months he was boiling over at just the thought of the other guy – even planning to slit his throat next time he saw him.
The other guy was a low character (in his opinion) Muslim he went to school with, but who had ran off with his cousin sister and married her, and torn her away from the family with dreams of following true love. [At that time we heard K paji was going to do something serious to the Muslim guy, but he listened to Baba ji’s MP3s and read the website, and didn’t go down the path of bad actions.]
K paji told us even though he hated what his cousin sister and the Muslim guy did at that time, he let it go. Even though at that time 5 years ago, all of his friends and Sikh society were saying ,”K’s cousin ran off with a Muslim.” He felt that is had ruined his reputation.
But, then the guy had abused his cousin during the marriage emotionally and physically and ruined her life, because she came back to the family broken. Before she came back, she called K paji in a distraught state and asked him if she could come back home? He replied compassionately, “Yes, come home, all is forgiven. No one will say anything bad to you.” He himself couldn’t blieve the compassionate words that came out of his own mouth, because in his mind he was only thinking how much shame she had brought to the family and his own personal reputation.
Then when she was back, on occasions he would be sitting next to her on the sofa watching TV and getting up to make her a cup of tea, whilst thinking, “how can I be offering to make tea, when in my mind I was thinking to hurt her for hurting me!”
We said to K paji, “that’s all Baba ji’s kindess to you, saving you from your own destructive mind by not letting you carry out bad deeds. And better than that making you do good deeds, even serving the one who hurt you. See paji, just by having even a sesame seed of faith, of believing in just one piece of divine wisdom of Baba ji, and of giving regular daswandh over the years, look at how much Baba ji has sent back to you, to save you from self-destruction. Which would have destroyed your family as well, with possible jail time for you.”
“Charan sharan Gur ek painda jai chal,
Satgur kot painda agai hoi lait hai.”
For every step taken towards the Guru,
Truth Guru takes countless steps towards you.
(Vaars Bhai Gurdaas on Pannaa 42)
K paji continued that it was two years ago when his cousin sister came back home. When she opened up about her three years of marriage hell, of how the guy had deceived her, firstly by falling in love and then just treating her like a prisoner, then he became livid.
He said that this time last week he was totally consumed with taking revenge. The only reason he hadn’t been able to was because the guy was currently in jail. But, K paji said he kept thinking what he would do to him if they crossed paths.
We could see K paji’s frustrations, anger and uncontrollable feelings that needed an outlet, otherwise they were tormenting him. And the natural outlet in maya is to think by acting upon them , by taking revenge, peace of mind will be achieved. “You hurt me – I hate you – I kill you” kind of thinking will never achieve peace of mind. It will only make the mind burn more and generate more bad karma. A downward spiral into the hell state of mind.
We spoke to K paji about Karma, about whatver he does will only happen to him as well. We explained don’t even keep bad thoughts in your mind. Keep talking about them as he has, keep confessing them, keep accepting they are from our own worst side and ask for forgiveness. As Dassan Dass ji has always asked us to this ardas all day long,
“Hum maha hankari, krodhi, lobhi, mohi, kaami, sanu baksh deh.”
“I am full of ego, anger, greed, lust, attachment, please forgive me.”
We explained to paji that Baba ji taught us that KARMA OVERULES EVERYTHING. For example, we asked why our brother’s cheek stopped growing on one side when he was a kid. He has a slightly lopsided face which effected everything in his life, made him tougher and more determined to succeed, to prove himself, due to all the name calling and staring he endured growing up. Baba ji said, “he cut someone in the last life on the face.”
K paji gasped and said, “I’ve done a lot of bad stuff to others!”
We also explained that Karma also applies to the ex-husband, that whatever he has done that was unjust will also come back to him, exactly as he dished it out. So K paji may feel like he has got away with it, that’s why he wants to take revenge, but we explained that the guy can never escape God’s justice – the LAW OF KARMA. When God is in your heart watching everything you think, say and do, then how can anything get past Him?
Just then Baba ji walked past and we quickly briefed him. Baba ji also explained to K paji that in the last life his cousin sister and husband were together, but their roles were reversed (she was the husband, he was the wife). So she was only actually reaping what she had done to him in the past. It doesn’t make it right what happened to her, but just makes us realise the bigger picture.
Baba ji explained further, “our fate and destiny (bhaag) are already written on our forehead (mastak lekh) before we are born. Because we have so much karma to reap. And it plays out in every interaction we have in our life, soul to soul, heart to heart. Karma doesn’t care if you are a Sikh and hence not supposed to marry a Muslim according to your family’s beliefs.” [Also remember that what we are doing right now is sowing our karma for the future – writing our future destiny.]
Baba ji kindly continued, “get out of seeing Muslims, Sikhs, Hindus and so on as separate groups, then you will stop hating others. Muslims and Hindus helped many of the Sikh Gurus. Even the sixth Guru had one wife who was a Muslim – Mata Kaulee. So just get out of prejudice and hatred.”
We did Benti (request) to Baba ji, “please forgive K paji for all his past mistakes, misdeeds and sins.” Baba ji paused for a second, and is so kind, he touched K paji’s forehead and said, “your past is all forgiven – don’t do it again.”
K paji was so, so thankful and Baba ji went and sat down across the other side of the living room with the sangat. But, then K paji confided in us, that even though he understands logically about Karma and the examples Baba ji gave, but emotionally he still feels if he sees the other guy across the street he would go and do something bad to him. We realised, that basically even having divine wisdom (Gurmat), the five thieves are not that easy to quash. And in his case, his ego and pride were still inflamed, causing anger and hatred to still come to the surface.
Then we looked across at Baba ji, and even though he couldn’t have physically heard what K paji had said, he knew. And he waved to K paji to come across. We saw K paji sitting humbly at Baba ji’s holy feet for the next hour or so. We knew that Baba ji will be cooling his five thieves down just by K paji listening to his divinely charged, Amrit-saturated, words of Truth – Sat Bachans.
When we listen to Baba ji’s Sat Bachans we are not just receiving the greatest gift of Brahm Gyan (divine wisdom), we are also being washed from within, the five thieves are being torn off our mind (same thing happens when we drink blessed Amrit water), our suffering is being absorbed by Baba ji and He is giving us Amrit. We then feel the peace within and that is why we feel better. That is why a counselor or religious preacher or Doctor can only do half the job. Under Maya, they can help with only the outside, the physical body or the mental and emotional states. But, only the Supreme soul can heal the burden on the soul, which is the root cause of mental, emotional and physical problems.
The next day, K and HC pajis said they had slept like a baby! They looked calm and peaceful. We dropped the sangat off at the airport, and K, HC , ourself and Pritam Anand ji drove back together. Pritam Anand ji talked a lot about how he was free of reputation after what had happened to him for the love of SatNaam SatGuru. He never let go of Baba ji’s Sat Bachans, even though it meant he lost his reputation in society and family. K and HC paji were amazed at his love and sacrifice. We all had one more night with Baba ji. And what a night!
We sat on a dining chair, on our left was a sofa with Baba ji and Pritam Anand ji. On our right was another sofa with K and HC paji sitting on it. They were facing Baba ji, their chance for a one-on-one now the sangat had left. Sat Parbrahm in Baba ji was still in a playful mood, saying, “I’m still on vacation!” So God was going to talk to K and HC paji. Wow! Wow! Wow! Perhaps they didn’t understand that to begin with but they did by the end!
Baba ji sat up and looked across at HC and started making him feel amrit from within. HC responded, “my breath has slowed down.” Then a minute later he said, “my tummy has filled with Amrit. HOW DID YOU DO THAT????”
Baba ji retorted, “Well, I created you!”
Then Baba ji carried on giving him the experience of feeling Amrit in every part of his body. Which HC was absolutely amazed to feel as it went around. Then Baba ji said to him, “your whole body is doing Satnaam Simran now (Rom-Rom – every cell). Even the potted plant next to you is doing Rom-Rom Satnaam simran.” HC looked bemused. Then Baba ji said, “go on touch the leaf.” HC held a leaf between his forefinger and thumb and nearly jumped out of his seat as he turned to K paji and exclaimed, “ITS BREATHING! I can feel it breathing in and out.”
HC was feeling calm and looking very relaxed, overflowing with Amrit in Rom-Rorm (each and every cell). All this happened with Baba ji’s Eternal Blessings within about ten minutes!
Then Baba ji asked HC about his relationship with his sister J penji. She had tearfully spoken to Baba ji earlier in the week, but had gone now. Her bedroom back at home is next to HC’s but she had told us he hadn’t spoken to her for a couple of years, not even a “good morning.” And here in GurSangat, he had blanked her as well. [Not seeing all as sangat, not bowing to them, avoiding them because you are seeing them as family that you have issues with, is anti-sangat behaviour. GurSangat is here to break all that Maya within us. And then for us to return to our families with this higher love and treat them as GurSangat as well. That is what Baba ji calls Sach Khand living. Otherwise Baba ji said every house is living a story under Maya, a story of destruction of hearts and souls – no love.]
HC replied to Baba ji about his relationship with J penji, by saying that he hasn’t spoken to her for years. Baba ji encouraged him by saying, “you should forgive her.” He replied, “I can NEVER forgive her for what she has done to me.” Baba ji explained to him, “if you were hurt and distressed, wouldn’t you want someone to hug you and love you?” He replied, “yes.” Then Baba ji said, “Well your sister has been hurt and distressed so cant you give that love to her?” He replied again, “I can’t forgive her boyfriend for what he’s done to our family.”
Baba ji looked at HC and said, “OK, looks like your ego and pride are too high! Down they come.” And Baba ji pointed with a flat downward facing palm at HC’s forehead, then lowered his palm, like pressing ego and pride down under HC’s feet. Baba ji then looked at HC and said, “OK repeat after me, I forgive her and her boyfriend.” And to his great credit and own surprise, HC swallowed his pride and hurt and repeated it, “I forgive her and her boyfriend.”
Then Baba ji said, “when you go back give her a big loving brotherly hug.” But, he replied honestly, “I don’t know if I can do that.” Then Baba ji said jokingly, “O Boy!” and started re-writing his Mastak Lekh – desinty, by scribbling on his empty palm with finger from the other hand. Baba ji said, “Well its written for you now. You are destined to give her a brotherly hug.”
[On our return, we asked J penji if she had received a hug on HC’s return, she said she hadn’t. So it will take a bit longer but the ice will thaw the more HC does Simran and Sangat, because Truth gives birth to Love and Compassion. Our parents were refusing to forgive our sister after she got married against their wishes. We struggled for months to make them talk. Baba ji told us not to worry as the parents will come into compassion. And it took a year, but they did. When their hurt pride died down, they listened to their heart and realised they missed her, loved her and made steps to reconcile their differences. First, they met at the Gurdwara, neutral ground where they were at least polite to each other and just greeted. Then they invited our sister over and her husband and now are getting on great. So will just take HC and J some time, but they are both great souls, and that will shine through in time. Plus once we told Baba ji our uncles, two brothers, didn’t speak to each other for 20 years. Then ended up living next door to each other. Baba ji said, “when you have the same Guru, how can you not talk to each other? Why waste 20 years in ego?”]
Back on the sofa, HC was completely mellowed out, the aura of gangster hard man had completely left him. His face was radiant and eyes were dripping with love. We took a picture of HC and Pritam Anand ji and even HC said on seeing it that it was the first time anyone had got a smile out of him on camera. But, more than that it looked like HC was in divine love.
Baba ji is so kind, what would have taken a lifetime to attain, the inner peace and beauty, you gave to HC in 10 minutes. They took one flight to meet Baba ji, he flew them to Infnitity within their Hirdha.
“Charan sharan Gur ek painda jai chal,
Satgur kot painda agai hoi lait hai.”
For every step taken towards the Guru,
Truth Guru takes countless steps towards you.
(Vaars Bhai Gurdaas on Pannaa 42)
K Paji’s transformation
We forgot to write earlier that the night before, Sat Parbraham in Baba ji also blessed K paji in a similar way, saying to him, “you were a Hindu Sadh (saint) in your last life – so don’t hate Hindus either as that is where you are coming from!”
Then Baba ji looked and pointed at K paji and gradually his inner chakras opened up allowing Amrit to flow out and around his body. He started getting intoxicated and his mask of, “I am rough and tough K, who takes no shit from anyone!” completely dissolved. His face was glowing and compassionate and he was completely intoxicated on “Sat Ka Nasha – drug of Truth – SatNaam” within 10 to 15 minutes.
Everytime he felt Amrit in another part of his body he smiled even more. Then unable to talk, he looked at me and pointed to his upper lip, and we guessed, “you can feel the Simran in there, right?” And he nodded with enjoyment of the intoxication. We remember two nights before when he was confessing his anger, he also asked us what is “Rom-Rom” simran – now he knew for himself. SatGuru Baba ji sitting in his Hirdha new all his inner wishes, so Satguru Baba ji on the outside blessed him with that too!.
Then K paji was so highly in love and intoxication and elated he recognised Baba is no ordinary being, but God Himself. He started saying with a huge smile on his face to Baba ji, “You are the King of Kings.” And offering salutations with his hand rolling forward, and repeating, “You are the King of Kings, I am the shit of shits!”
And Baba ji kept saying to him with joy and laughter, “You are the King of Kings and I am just your servant.”
It was so beautiful to watch. We took a picture of K paji oozing pure truth, love and compassion. We explained to him that Sikhs read everyday at the end of JapJi, the divine words of Dhan Baba Nanak,
“Jini Naam dhiyaay gae maskat ghaal.
Nanak te mukh ujalay, ketee shutee naal.”
Those who meditated upon the Naam,
labour in the right direction.
Nanak: their faces shine bright
and many others are ferried along with them.
We explained to K paji, that he now was one of the rare few who was actually experiencing Gurbani for himself.
We explained to him that he has been going to the Gurdwara all of his life, but had not really understood anything, infact just come out with religious pride and hatred of other groups. But, the experiences in Siri Guru Granth Sahib ji are the lovestory of the saints with God. So Guru’s and bhagats experienced God, wrote it down, most people are left at just reading it, but with Baba ji’s grace K & HC paji have gone straight to experiencing it as well.
The story of the Bhagats and some of the Gurus in Gurbani is basically this:
First, they were in Dukh – suffering physically or mentally or emotionally due to their circumstances and feeling of broken-heartedness. Some were low castes or treated as outcastes and even had to face prejudice from high caste Brahmins and attempts on their life. Some were stuck in pointless rituals of their religion, which they were following with great dedication but getting nowhere spiritually. They did a lot of good deeds and were sensitive souls, praying to God.
Secondly, God heard their prayers and they met the Guru’s Sikhs who pointed them in the direction of the Satguru.
Thirdly, they went to the Satguru’s sangat full of hopes and excitement that God had heard their prayer and was going to help them now. Meeting the Satguru their doubts were dispelled and their faith went sky high.
Fourthly, they got involved in seva, surrendering totally their mind, body, wealth – everything. They fell in love with serving the Satguru and the Sat Sangat.
Fifthly, at some point they were blessed with Naam and Gyan and began enjoying the inner bliss of Amrit.
Sixthly, their inner spiritual journey gave them so much peace and bliss that the outer chase in Maya completely fell away and had absolutely no lure for them at all.
Seventhly, they lived to serve others and in doing so, completely and utterly forgot about themselves, no more ego. They became one and the same as the Guru they were serving.
We explained to K and HC paji that in Baba ji’s sangat the whole of Siri Guru Granth sahib ji has come alive in front of our eyes, has come true for them in their own soul, body and mind. With Baba ji’s Eternal blessings, GurParsaad, they didn’t have to spend 60 years of playing out their Karma, getting sick and tired of Maya, getting Dukh which then forced them to look at religion for peace. They saved years of having to learn Punjabi and reading daily prayers. Baba ji saved them from even having to do years of hard seva to completely kill their ego. Baba ji gave them the fruit of spiritual experience on a plate. But to their credit, they must have had very high bhagti from last lives, it only needed to be unlocked by Baba ji.
Baba ji said to them when they go back, to keep doing their Simran and that there is no need to make a big deal of it at the Gurdwara or within the family. Because they will not understand and only slander. Baba ji said, “I have already done that during my bhagti. I have done the search through Gurbani for all of you and gone beyond it as well. And I have taken all the slander from the religion and society too. So you don’t have to go through that path now. I have made it simpler and easier for all the sangat. You can do bhagti sitting at home. See your family as sangat you serve, get up at amritvela and do your Simran. Work honestly, give your Daswandh. Simple as that.”
Baba ji summarised, “I have simplified Guru Granth Sahib to one word – SAT – TRUTH. And one discipline – TOTAL SURRENDER. Do that and you are saved without having to go through the arduous journey that past religions make you go through.”