Sun 8 Aug, 2010
Dearest H Paji and I Penji and children let us kindly stay with them last night after picking us up from Toronto airport. We talked until midnight whislt sitting on the front porch in the cool summer night.
Penji’s parents were very dedicated to Sants in their younger days, but now were disillusioned. Her mother did sangat and seva of Sant Isher Singh NanaksarWale – the one who carried on after Baba Nand Singh ji. Aged 28 she was happy to live a life of service and simran. But, her parents wanted her to get married and overruled Sant Isher Singh’s blessing to her to just do Bhagti and got her married. And her father was so dedicated to service of the Sants after Sant Isher Singh ji, that he even left the family to be with them for a month whilst they travelled around. But, when he came back he was totally disillusioned after seeing all the inner politics and power and money struggles. He told all the kids to take off their kirpans and start eating meat and he absolutely detests it when anyone talks religious things at home. Even he tells Penji, his daughter, that he made her a modern women, so why is she going backwards by taking her kids to the Gurdwara and teaching them kirtan and punjabi. [We mentioned this to Baba ji, he said that actual problem was with the father, that he let his beliefs about other people stop him doing his bhagti. Nothing should ever stop you doing bhagti. So he is stuck in the negative side of the mind now.]
So Penji was saying to us that she has grown up listening to all the slander of Sants and now finds it very hard to believe in any Sant including Baba ji even though her husband H is convinced.
However, “Dukh Daru” – suffering is the remedy, and since having a car accident a few years ago penji has spent a long time off work with a stress disorder that means she can hardly move without pain all over her body. Only since meeting Baba ji and receiving the Eternal Blessings of Naam has she started improving and for the last 8 months is even going back to work on a part-time basis. But still she is mostly in pain.
She also said her mother told her wrong wisdom to not to pray for others as all of their troubles come to you. Her mother told her don’t pray those lines in Gurbani that say , “Jo kush ha so tera – everything is Yours,” because then God comes and takes away those things that are most precious to you. In her case, she lost her son aged 2.5 years old. We said to Penji that is wrong thinking and wrong understanding of Gurbani. Her mother had a bad experience in life and is blaming God, instead of accepting it was her Karma to reap what she had sown. Infact, Gurbani is there telling us not to get attached to anything, including our most precious family, because they will go one day, and if we are attached in Moh to them then we will drown in emotions and destructive mind. So we free our mind and heart by saying everyday, with every breath,
“Meray mujh meh kush nahee,
jo kush ha so tera.
Tera tujh ko saupio,
kee lagay mera. –
Nothing is mine,
everything is Yours.
I sacrifice everything for You,
what does it cost me to do so?” (Kabir Ji).
And then when the inevitable happens that we lose our nearest and dearest, then it doesn’t hurt. We remember the first time we met Guddi Aunty ji at Baba ji’s house in 2004, she was smiling and happy and serving us great food. We found out afterwards her mother had died only a few days before. But her face was radiant and loving. She told us that at her mother’s funeral other’s were crying, but she was happy and her brother asked, “why?” She replied, that with Baba ji’s blessing all she could see was a wedding taking place of her mother’s soul to God.
Last night did our personal ardas and simran. Felt quite emotional thinking it has been six years since we last came to see Baba ji and left with high hopes and inspiration that God-realisation wasn’t too far away. However, the next four years were just a huge struggle through our karma with family. We separated from living with our parents to our parents disapproval and huge disappointment. We struggled through not having their approval for cutting our hair and leaving orthodox Sikhism of which they were so proud of us for following. We were in the middle of family arguments between them and our sister’s refusal to get married as they wanted. On top of which we were not listening to our wife’s valid concerns about our dire financial situation due to some bad investments in property. We hated our job and dreamed of escaping to Canada and starting a meditation centre, so we learnt Reiki, hypnotherapy, meditation teaching, yoga teaching and ran classes and courses – some for money, which then became a desire for us. We had what people would call a mid-life crisis when we were sick of the life we had ended up with. Feeling like a complete failure we hit rock bottom, and if we had been a drinking man probably would have ended up as a drunk, or if we were disloyal maybe we would have had an affair. But we ended up addicted to TV, feeling low and down and stuck in porn addiction for a couple of years. And whenever we tried to do Simran we couldn’t get peace of mind so for comfort went back to porn. Which only made us feel 100 times worse everytime. We even stopped going to sangat for about 9 months just to avoid upsetting our wife and parents because we didn’t feel we had any strength left to have constant arguments and battles in the house due to following this spiritual path, but we never lost faith in Baba ji [We remember calling Baba ji and asking for permission to just stay at home and do our bhagti in secret, quietly, but Baba ji just said, "There’s nothing like Sat Sangat!" And we remember thinking , "O boy! Another challenge now to get through family’s resistance!" We remember saying to our wife, if we go to Sangat what will you do? will you leave us, or argue? Whatever you do, we will go to sangat regardless. And she accepted it quitely with Baba ji’s grace and to our great surprise.] And Namjeevan told us later that she was concerned about us and asked Baba ji about us once and Baba ji told her that Harjit can never fall back now.
We remember when we first found out about Baba ji’s second marriage about 8 years ago we lost faith and even slandered him, but after our soul couldn’t stop crying we personally went to visit Baba ji and kissed his feet and apologised. And prayed to Baba ji that we never ever fall away again, no matter what happens, that we never leave His Charan Saran. So Baba ji was true to his word and even through our darkest hour, he pulled us out.
[We mentioned to Baba Ji later in this holiday that when we kissed his feet on that first meeting , we whispered in our mind these lines of Guru Arjun Dev Ji,
"Firat firat prabh aaiyaa, pario tao sanraee.
nanak kee prabh benti apanee bhagti laai."
-roaming and wandering around, I have come to your shelter God,
Nanak makes this request, keep me in your bhagti now."
And Baba ji smiled and said that he had heard our heart and that our prayer had been approved at that time. In Punjabi Baba ji said with a smile and pointing his finger upwards, "Laagagee!"]
So last two years have been a journey of climbing from our the lowest depths of our consciousness [Baba ji said once to us its good to know what depths we can sink too – it humbles us], one step at a time, back to where we are now – on the brink of meeting Baba ji again in the right frame of mind. It reminds us of the story of when Baba Nanak went to meet the Siddhs high up in the mountains, and when he arrived they were absolutely stunned that a boy (Nanak was very young compared to them in age, but also they assumed he was lower in consciousness than them) had managed to reach to their level. Baba ji’s consciousness is so high, it is Truth Consciousness, that it is very difficult for anyone of lower consciousness to have his physical sangat, or to understand him or his ways and teachings. So if we are not in right frame of mind, having His sangat is very unlikely to happen, unless we are destined to be transformed by Him.
Anyway, about 6 months ago we were blessed with a dream where we were in a white room and looked out of the window to see a huge river of blood rushing through the street below, with people being drowned by those pot-bellied Budha statues that people keep to fulfil their desire of prosperity. Then we looked up at windows of the buildings and in each one was some lower consciousness act of lust, abuse, selfishness and so on. Then we pulled our head back into the white room and closed the window and drew the thick curtain to permanently close that opening. On awakening we realised that with Baba ji’s blessings, we had seen our lower consciousness, but now we had left that behind and closed it off forever.
Last year or so we have been struggling with doing Amritvela, still doing seva with ego, trying lots of things to be One with Him, but still here we are not One with Him, our Preetam Pyara. Still afar like the old man lying on his death bed regretting he didn’’t take bhagti seriously and dedicate his life to it, “RAM SIMAR PACHTAAIGA..DO SIMRAN ELSE REGRET.”
We saw an apt T-shirt slogan:
“Buffer the pain of discipline,
or suffer the pain of regret.”
Please forgive us Baba ji for all our running around in the Disneyland of Maya’s lower consciousness. Of enjoying the attractions of the world but now getting sick and tired of them all, we just want our Mother and sit in her lap. “Namo Lok Mata ..I Bow to the Mother of the World.” – Guru Gobind Singh.
May we never forget your Naam now Baba ji. May we hold onto it with each and every thought. May we sing your praises and be the lowest of the low, most compassionate and kindly look at others with a glance full of love for you an no judgement.
We have been singing this shabad for the last few months, it has really become our deep down prayer from our hirdha now:
“Sabhna teree aas prabh, sabh jeea tere tu raas.
Prabh tudho Kalee ko nahee,
Dar Gurmukha no sabhas.
Bikh bhaujal dubday Kadlay,
Jan nanak kee Ardas.” – Guru Ram Das ji
Meaning – Baba ji, All of our hopes are in you SatNaam satGuru Baba ji. All beings are yours, you are our Saviour. No-one goes empty handed from you and you congratulate us in your Royal court – Dargah. Please save us from drowning in the poison of our mind, this is my ardas.”
Actually, about a month ago after singing this shabad we had a dream in which we entered a Gurdwara and Baba Ji’s sangat were sitting all around and started clapping and cheering us saying “Harjit has arrived.” Then we did Dandaut to Guru Granth Sahib, then found Baba ji sitting in white further back. We did Dandauth to his holy feet and he patted our back. And a few young Sikhs (in their 20s) had followed us to Baba ji and on hearing our name said with delight, “So you’re Harjit, the one who sends all the emails.” So that showed us we had been accepted by Baba ji in his court and others have also come with us. Its all his Kirpa.
Midnight now. Spent the morning with Paji and Penji doing some talking about life issues, stretching, breathing and chanting of SatNaam followed by relaxation and guided meditation. When Penji got up, she said that all of her pain had gone. We said to her that this is her natural state – soul bliss, of being in tune with her soul and having no thoughts, then there is no pain. We encouraged her to practise diving into this Ocean of SatNaam everyday and night.
Penji wanted to learn Reiki from us, we said we used to teach one day courses and charge money, but actually it is so simple we can show her in just five minutes as seva. We don’t teach Reiki anymore even that is part of Maya the way it is taught in the West now. The original founder was a Sant, but now they don’t mention God and do it for money.
We said to her she already has the GurParsaadi Naam from Baba ji so she is already connected to the Dvine Light – Prabh Jyot Prabh Naam – SatNaam. All she now needs to know is how to use her hands to channel that Divine Light to heal. We said this is what we do now before healing others, we put our hands together in prayer position and do Ardas, “Baba ji you have the golden healing hands. These hands are also yours. Please guide them as you will for the highest divine good of this person.”
Then for self-healing place your hands on your own body wherever you feel is right and just close your eyes and do Simran. Penjee did the Ardas and placed her hand on her right shoulder and said she could feel her hand getting hot, she felt relaxed and her mind felt blank. We said that is her true state and she will heal as long as she taps into that everyday by doing her SatNaam Simran with Baba ji’s blessings.
[Later in the holiday we spoke to Baba ji about Reiki, as Shotee Mata ji is also a Reiki Master. Baba ji wasn’t convinced about us becoming Reiki Masters, he felt we were leaving Naam for something less. Shotee Mata ji defended Reiki saying that “Maharaj, we just take Divine Light in one hand and pour it into the person with the other hand.” Baba ji said, “Well that is exactly what the 330 Million Dev-Devtas did. They took the Divine Light from God, used it to fulfill the wishes of the people and took the credit for themselves. They didn’t unite the people back with the Divine Light. Look at Reiki practioners now, they take the Divine Light, heal others, but take money for themselves and hence lack compassion as its not selfless seva and they don’t unite the person back to the Divine Light, but keep themselves as the one to go to for healing. Same as Devi-Devta. We said to Baba ji that actually even though we call it Reiki, what we actually do is simple Ardas that these are your hands Baba ji so please come and heal the person. And we do it selflessly , compassionately and expect nothing in return.
Baba ji smiled and replied and said, “Ah modified Reiki!” We said we will stop calling what we are doing Reiki as its nothing like western Reiki now. And also with Yoga, even though we learned to be a Yoga teacher, we don’t actually believe in the philosophy of Yoga. Its all about cleansing the outer body in order to then cleanse the soul. That’s why the poses are there – to cleanse and purify the body. And all the breathing techniques and concentration techniques. But we said to Baba ji, all we do is more accurately described as stretching whilst breathing in SAT and breathing out NAAM. And once again we start with our Ardas, “Jo Jo deesay so so rogi. Rog Rehat Mera Satgur Jogi. – All I see are all diseased. Disease-free is my Satguru Yogi.” – Gurbani. So we will stop saying we are doing Yoga, western Yoga has no Naam and devotion to God-Guru in it. Baba ji said its ok to maintain the body, but not to spend too much time on the body because utimately its going to perish and go back to the dust. Its better to spend 7-8 hours a day on Naam Simran instead. Because the root cause of all physical and mental ailments is the burden on the soul i.e. the karmic filth we bring with us. That plays out in our mental health and then in our physical health. So Baba ji said to truly heal anyone you need to heal the soul, and only the Supreme Soul (i.e. a] God, so call His Name : SatNaam, and b] Guru – Baba ji’s presence) can do that. All other healings like Reiki or Yoga, counselling, medicine etc are just healing mind or body, so are only temporary, maybe useful but don’t make your soul stable in Truth. Healing the soul by the Supreme Soul is the only permanent healing. We said to Baba ji, thankyou, thankyou, thankyou for clarifying that about healing. That we had read many mind, body, spirt books and been to mind, body and spirit festivals too, but never understood that is all operating at the level of Devi-Devtas. Baba ji said, actually it should be “Soul, Mind, Body”. Put Soul first, heal the soul and healing of mind and body follow.]
Baba Ji said that the soul doesn’t age and the body aging process slows down when we are in Naam too. We said to Baba ji that we didn’t realise it would be six years before we met physically again and of all the tough tests that were ahead of us. Baba ji replied that some tests were there because of my “I wants” and some tests were just challenges of religion, family and work to see if we could apply the divine wisdom to our life now. Baba ji said that in the end we were here now and to stop counting the years as even that was just logic mind. Just to keep doing Satnaam with love.
Later in the day we went to visit our Uncle and family, they wanted us to stay the night, but we don’t really have much in common except family name, so went to see them and pray for them. They asked lots of questions about Baba ji, but weren’t really interested, other than making polite conversation. Aunty at one point asked us to take her 29 year old son, so he would straighten out his drinking habits. He walked out of the room when she said that. He is not interested, yet she doesn’t do bhagti herself, but wants to force it on others. Parents controlling children, trying to use any means they can including religion to control them. Same old story going on in every house – the story of destruction of the heart. Anyway, God bless them all.
Finally, we came to Baba ji’s residence (Baba ji calls it an inn (saraa), as its only a temporary place for us in this world to give our body some shelter. But our house, our real house and home is in our hirdha – in gurbani it is called “nijj ghar – real home” and in gurbani it says, “nanak kay ghar keval Naam – In Nanak’s house there is only NAAM.” And In God’s Realm of Truth, Baba ji has built Sundar Nagari – the Most Beautiful Town for all that come through Him to the Truth. And each devotee is given a house there when Baba ji accepts their devotion. Which means Baba ji’s Hirdha is Sundar Nagri and our Hirdha is in his Hirdha. He is in us and we are in him now and forever. Later on in the holiday Baba ji was hugging a devotee like a father and child. He had so much compassion and love pouring from his eyes, we could all see the amount of pain he was absoribing from the devotee and tears rolled down his cheek. The whole sangat who were watching also started crying. It was because our hearts where in Baba ji’s heart and as Guru Nanak Dev ji wrote something like, “I cry, the birds in the trees cry and the whole world cries with me.” And also Guru Gobind Singh ji wrote in Chaupai , “Santan Dukh payae te dukhi – when the Sant is suffering then God is feeling the suffering too.”)
Pritam Anand ji did Dandauth to us right away in the garage where we were taking off our shoes without thinking twice about it. We did it also. We entered the living room and sangat was gathered especially to meet us. And they did Dandauth to us, unworthy creature that we are, too. They hugged us and baba ji hugged us too. We did Dandauth to Baba ji and got up and to our surprise Baba ji did Dandauth Bandhna to us as well. We are not worthy at all. We said to Baba ji, “We are nothing,” and he replied, “I am nothing too!!!” [Later in the week Baba Ji also did Dandauth Bandhna to Dassan Dass ji, Namjeevan ji, simran Ji and the Dhan Dhan Sangat – He really is lowest of the low here, and hence King of Kings on the other side.]
Baba ji spoke and and sangat started chanting long and slow “SatNaam SatNaam.” We closed our eyes and did our ardas to be as humble as Guru Arjun Dev ji and wash everyone’s feet in our mind. But Pritam Anand ji showed us that doing it in our mind is good, but doing it for real is even better. He came over to us with a bowl of water and a towel and he washed our feet in reality and dried them and kissed them and said, “I love you” with tears in his eyes. Baba ji said to him to just say “SatNaam” as SatNaam means I love you. We said to Primtan anand ji as he washed these feet, that these are Baba ji’s feet, all your seva is going to Baba ji, and may Baba ji give all blessings to you – we don’t need to get ego from having our feet washed. We did “KartaPurakh Satnaam” simran and felt like it was the most humble , kind and compassionate God Himself washing our feet in the body of Pritam Anand ji. We started crying, because we forget HIM all the time, but HE doesn’t forget about us and is so humble and kind that He Himself comes to wash our unworthy feet.
SatNaam SatGuru Ji is so kind.
Then SatGuru Baba ji said to us, “Tund Paayee?” Meaning are you cooled in mind and body now with the Amrit. And we said, “yes.”
We recorded some of Baba Ji’s talking, Baba ji looks the same as when we met him 6 years ago, as does Mata ji.
Baba ji blessed our job situation as our job is coming to an end in the UK. We asked Baba ji to also bless us to write poetry and songs again as we used to in our younger days, but seemed to have lost the enthusiam for it. And he did without any delay.
Thankyou, we just need to keep awareness of “Satnaam KartaPurakh” in all the sangat and everyone all day and all the time and not take Baba ji for granted or to think he is just an ordinary person, even though he acts very ordinary, wears ordinary clothes and does everything himself like shopping and driving!! Wereas when you go to meet a Sikh Sant they are dressed in white, surrounded by an entourage, chaufeur driven, and surrounded by a lot of pomp and show to impress people and make people feel humble in their presence.
We said to Baba ji over the last year our biggest struggle with Amritvela sitting for long hours is that we end up with very tight neck pain. Baba ji said, “Just ignore it – keep doing Amritvela.” End of story – simple as that – I had stopped doing amritvela for a week or two at a time in order for the neck to rest. But obviously that was the wrong choice – always put Simran first, body second.