6. Why Slander Interfaith / Intercaste Marriages?

A long running story in the Punjabi news was that a Sikh girl from Jathedar Joginder Singh Vedanti’s relations got married to a Christian boy in the year 2003.


There is lots of controversial discussion noticed on various Sikh group sites on why did the wedding ceremony occur in a Gurudwara  (Sikh temple).  Lots of time and effort has been spent by hundreds (perhaps thousands) of individuals over various web sites, newspapers, and other media sources. Now, let us analyze all this through the wisdom of Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji. 


The first Guru, Guru Nanak Dev Ji and other Gurus & Bhagats spread the message of Universal Brotherhood across all directions.  What did that mean for us including Sikhs? Message of love to all.  Baba Nanak was dear to all including Hindus, Sikhs, Buddhists, and other faiths. 


“chahu dis hukam vartai parabh tayraa chahu dis naam pataalan”. 

Your Command, O God, rules in the four directions;

Your Name pervades the four corners of the nether regions as well.


SGGS 1275 – Guru Nanak Dev


A Brahmgyani is beyond any man-made boundaries as he is embodied in the creator of all. The very nature of a Brahmgyani is that of his Master “The Almighty”.  Just like the Lord Himself, a Brahmgyani carries a single vision. 


This is the message SGGS Ji conveys to all.  SGGS Ji is a Holy Granth that was meant for the whole humanity. It is a strange and pitiful situation for the narrow thinking Sikhs that they have forgotten this and instead are imposing limits on who can come to seek the wisdom of SGGS Ji. 



srisatt sabh eik varan hoee dhharam kee gath rehee ||3||

The whole world has been reduced to the same social status; the state of righteousness and Dharma has been lost. ||3||


SGGS 663 – Guru Nanak Dev


The Harmandir Sahib (Golden Temple) was laid out with the four doors one in each direction for all people (regardless of a religion or a caste). 


“saglee jot hamaaree sammi-aa naanaa varan anaykan”.


My eyes are to see the Lord’s Light in all, although their forms and colors are so numerous.


SGGS 360 – Guru Nanak Dev


The fourth zGuru Ram Daas Ji’s vision here was to remind the Sikhs of this message forever.  The fifth Guru Arjun Dev Ji further alleviated the caste or religion distinctions by introducing the Brahmgyan (Wisdom) of saints from various religions in Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji.  We as Sikhs should be seeing everyone with a single vision.  Perhaps ‘Him’ in ‘everyone’ and ‘everywhere’. 


“varan roop varteh sabh tayray”.


In all colors and forms, You are pervading.


SGGS 120 –  Guru Amar Daas



“chahu varnaa ka-o day updays. naanak us pandit ka-o sadaa adays” 


The one who teaches all four castes.  O Nanak, to such a Pandit, I bow in salutation forever.


SGGS 274 – Guru Arjun Dev


Where are the true ones or the pandits or scholars to steer people on the path of His will?


We are perhaps out of such sevaks (servants). A true sevak to the Lord is perhaps a Brahmgyani (a Brahmgyani has the knowledge of god). As always the true message of a religion starts loosing its authenticity soon after it takes birth. 


As the Brahmgyanis or saints take off, the worldly wisdom takes the charge. The temples, mosques, churches and Gurdwaras, which were established to serve everyone, start push people away.  This has happened all along and is happening today as well. 


This happened to Bhagat Namdev Ji (few centuries ago) as well.  He was refused to get in the temple as he was the so-called low-caste hindu.  Bhagat Namdev went behind the temple and started worshipping the Lord there.


As always, the Lord kept the honour of his saint and he turned around the temple with front facing Bhagat Namdev in meditation. 


  ji-o ji-o naamaa har gun uchrai.

bhagat janaaN ka-o dayhuraa firai. 


As Naam Dev uttered the Glorious Praises of the Lord,

the temple turned around to face the Lord`s humble devotee.


SGGS 1164 –  Bhagat Namdev


These kind of acts are commonly observed in various faiths including Sikhism.


It is especially noticed with the wedding of the couple in question here.  The bridegroom happened to be a Christian, and the girl belongs to a prominent Sikh family. I don’t know about any negative response from the groom’s family or the church itself.  But as always Sikhs have shown their presence by slandering this blessed couple and especially the girl’s family.  The SGGS Ji quotes 



“keetaa kichhoo na hova-ee likhi-aa Dhur sanjog”.


By one`s own actions, nothing can be done; destiny was pre- determined from the very beginning.


SGGS 135 –  Guru  Arjun Dev


  “pargati-aa sabh meh likhi-aa Dhur kaa”. rahaa-o.


This pre-ordained destiny has been revealed to all.


SGGS 396 – Guru  Arjun Dev


The marriage of a couple is pre-destined by the Almighty. This is not only true for Sikhs, but for every one. If we call ourselves Sikhs and complain about a wedding relationship laid out by Him. Are we worshipping Him? Rather, we are competing against His will. 


  “ji-o ji-o tayraa hukam tivai ti-o hovnaa”.


As is the Hukam of Your Command, so do things happen.


SGGS 523 – Guru Arjun  Dev


  “sachaa tayraa hukam sachaa furmaan”.


True is the Command of Your Will, True is Your Order.


SGGS 463 – Guru Nanak Dev


Are we really respecting the teachings of SGGS Ji or our Gurus or Bhagats? By slandering the couple or their family, are we pleasing the Lord? Definitely not. If we indulge in any such activity that goes against His will, we are fooling ourselves here in this birth and beyond. Gurbani says


  “nindak nindaa kar pachay jamkaal garsee-ay”.


The slanderers rot in their slander; they are seized by the Messenger of Death.


SGGS 815 – Guru Arjun Dev


  “nindaa kar kar pacheh ghanayray


Spreading slander, many have been ruined.


SGGS 806, Guru Arjun Dev



Let us look back in history at few cases, where the man-made boundaries were clearly squashed by the Lord.


The sixth Guru Hargobind Sahib Ji was also married to “Mata Kaulaan“, who was a Muslim priest`s daughter. Mata Kaulaan was accepted and well respected by the Guru-Ghar as well as the Sikhs. There is a historic Gurdwara named after Mata ji as “Gurdwara Sahib Kaulsar”. 


The fifth Guru had the foundation stone of the Harimander Sahib Ji laid out by a Muslim Saint Sai Mian Meer ji. What was its significance to us all? This was perhaps the message of brotherhood by Guru Sahib Ji. 


Bhagat Kabeer Ji married his daughter to a burglar. This person came to hide at Bhagat Ji’s place as several people chased him.  Kabir Ji realized the Lord’s will, then and there. He married his daughter `Kamaali’ to this burglar. Why would a saint do this to his daughter? He knew Lord’s will and happily accepted it, and perhaps ignored the people around.


The Bhagats recognize Him and sacrifice everything for Him. On the other hand, common people who have nothing to do with the event, rather bad mouth Lord’s will and dig a hole for them.


  “nindaa kar kar baho bhaar uthaavai bin majooree bhaar pahuchaavani- aa”.


By continually slandering others, they carry a terrible load, and they carry the loads of others for nothing.


SGGS 118 – Guru Amar Daas


If we look at all the above examples, it is obvious that it is Lord’s will that prevails. Everything carved out by manmukhta (self- willingness) fails.


The inter-caste or inter-faith marriages happen everyday and it is going to keep on happening forever under Lord’s will. So, if we call ourselves the Sikhs, why are we badmouthing the Lords blessed couple and their relations? We should be seeing the Lord in everyone including the Christian groom.


It is a shameful act on part of everyone involved in perpetuating this discussion.  As Sikhs, we have sent a poor message to Lord’s Kingdom (dargah).


Do we think that we are going to get away with it?


Everyone participated in a negative manner will have to pay for this in Lord’s court. The slanderer washes of the dirt off of the person(s) he or she is slandering. 


The slanderers are helping Bhai Vedanti’s family including the blessed couple by doing the mean act of talking ill of them. 


  “nindaa karai so hamraa meet”.


One who slanders me is my friend.


SGGS 339 –  Bhagat Kabir


  “jan kabeer ka-o nindaa saar. nindak doobaa ham utray paar”.


Slander is the best thing for servant Kabeer.

The slanderer is drowned, while I am carried across.


SGGS 339 – Bhagat Kabir





A slanderer is wasting away his life by doing this shameful act. SGGS Ji quotes


  “par nindaa par mal mukh suDhee agan kroDh chandaal”.

Slandering others is putting the filth of others into your own mouth.

The fire of anger is the outcaste who burns dead bodies at the crematorium.


SGGS 15, guru Nanak Dev


  “nindaa kardaa pach mu-aa vich dayhee bhakhai”.


Slandering others, he wastes away and dies; within his body, he burns.


SGGS 315 – Guru Arjun Dev


Daas would urge each and everyone participated in this worst act, to apologize to this family, and the most important of all to the Lord.  He is merciful, and takes no time to forgive if we really mean it. 


We need to solve the puzzle (purpose) of our own (birth) before we start worrying about others. Once we accomplish this, this is where you get into helping others – of course with love only. 


This write-up is made possible by the grace of the Lord and blessings of a puran Brahmgyani  Sat-Ram Das of today. 


A Humble Servant