From Attachment to Hatred in one easy step …
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Going from attachment to hatred takes one easy step … FEAR.
Fear of losing what you think you love.
A great soul said "Where there is attachment, there is hatred, which is a reflection of fear. Fear is born out of attachment, the fear of losing what one has. Attachment and fear breed hatred. These three vices lead a person to stray from the virtues of earnestness and faith. Hence, attachment, hatred and fear have to be brought under control."
In the words of the 1980s singer Annie Lennox "You hurt me, I hate you." This song was a top ten best seller, showing many people related to the words.
But can I really blame anyone else for hurting me emotionally?
Ask well is that statement true, "You hurt me" ?
And I may say "Yes, its true, the one I loved with all my heart hurt me."
But is it absolutely true, "You hurt me?"
Am I not responsible for how I feel? Instead of blaming others, is it not more true to say "I let myself be hurt?"
How did I let myself be hurt? I had a natural feeling that I needed love. I needed attention and I needed affection. I couldn’t stand lonliness. I needed someone to love and someone to love me. When I let that person into my life, I felt complete, I felt happy, I was in what I thought was love. But then I started feeling jealous everytime they gave someone else attention. Over time I started saying "You don’t love me, you don’t care about me." I was so full of fear of losing that person, that I started trying to control them and manipulate them to stay with me. When that didn’t work then I felt despair at losing them, but that soon changed into hatred for their betrayal.
And now how does it make you feel, when you have that thought, "You hurt me"?
It makes me feel like I was used and abused, that what was most precious to me – my heart, was given to someone else in trust and they broke it. It fills me with anger and hatred.
How would I be if I never had that thought "You hurt me"?
Well, I would be peaceful and calm. I would feel happy and contented.
Have I ever thought that the opposite might be true, that rather than "You hurt me", it was actually "I hurt myself."
I know all the love I need is already inside me – God’s Light. I know that my Guru has taught me not to blame anyone else for anything, that the only enemies I have are my five thieves. The thief that has stolen my amrit-lifeforce this time is MOH – selfish attachment. It was my MOH that got attached to that person, but when FEAR of losing them came into my mind then I began filling with HATRED because I felt they had hurt me. Infact, know I understand, it was my own MOH that hurt me. Baba Ji said to overcome MOH I don’t leave contact with all people and live like a recluse in the mountains. No, I just take the selfish aspect out of it. And what is left? The caring part, the loving part, the serving part, the living for the God in the other part. When I am in MOH I think only of my own happiness, of being served , of being loved, of being the centre of attention and affection. In the words of another pop song, "If you love someone, set them free." That is the greatest love. To love with all your heart the God in their heart and in every heart. Baba Ji said that that is what God did on making the Creation, He loved each soul so much that He let us all go – set us all free. And if we are really His lovers we will come back. Which is the greatest joy for God, but if we don’t come back then God does not fill with anger or hatred towards us. Deep within us He still loves us, fills us with our amrit-lifeforce and patiently waits for us – lifetimes in most cases.
Baba Ji said, "If you love someone set them free, if they are to be with you then they will come back." So trust in God, let the selfish part of MOH go, keep the loving serving part for yourself. Come into peace and let hatred go. Meditate on God’s Light – God’s Name : Satnaam under the blessing of your personal Guru. And realise that all the love you need is already dormant within.
Perhaps the words should be "Moh hurt me, I still love you."
Dust of your feet
Harjit