14. What does Gur Parsaad – the Eternal Blessings, feel like?

Satnaam Ji – Dandauth Bandhana Ji.
What does Gur Parsaad – the Eternal Blessings, feel like?
How do we know when we are under the Gur Parsaad?
Well, an easy way to understand is to look at the opposite, look at how we feel and think when we are not under Gur Parsaad.  I have had a strong experience of this over the last few days so thought it would be nice to share with the Sangat.
Over the last few weeks strong thoughts have come up about why am I not having spiritual expereinces any more.  This has lead to thoughts of you must have done something wrong, you must have failed a test, you chose maya over the guru and now are back to square one.  These thoughts built up every day, triggerring feelings of failure and despair that nothing I have done has turned out as I wanted. So a constant nagging feeling was hanging over my head like a black cloud for the last few weeks, getting heavier and heavier. Then on sunday morning got up from Simran and had felt some love for Baba Ji’s lotus feet, but istead of becomgni humble did the opposite. 
Get upset with the kids for making a mess and not helping to tidy up.

Said some upsetting things to our wife.

Fumed around the house like a control freak.

Then even stronger thoughts came that this spiritual path is not for everyone and I should give up another thing I’ve failed at.

Should just go into worldy pursuits and whatever.

Then I went and talked negatively about our wife with our parents.

The next day the cloud was still there heavy and strong.

No desire to pray for forgiveness, no desire to forgive anyone, just a stubborness that I was right, that the others aggravated me.

Then went back to eating some junk food – comfort eating and having a long hot shower – more comfort.

Struggled to get to the gym, but didnt feel like training so left without doing so.
So then the Gur Parsaad started.

First, the thought came to look at the root cause of my state of mind, and the root cause was me sending out anger to the wife and kids after doing simran.

Then the realisation that I was reaping what I had sown.

Then the humblness to accept that it was my misdeed.

Then the acceptance that anger and ego is my own and I cannot blame anyone else for it.

Then apologising in my heart to God and the wife and kids for my bad behaviour and washing their feet in my heart whilst doing Sat Naam.
The mind cooled down alot.
Then another piece of wisdom that the past is just a trail behind us and what matters is the energy we bring to this current day.

Just like the sun comes out everyday blasting light into all the corners of the world, not taking long to shift the heavy darkness.  To be like the sun and not to worry about yesterdays failures, focus on being bright and full of energy today.
Then did our ardas to accept all of our mistakes and for the gift of Gur Parsaad of Naam and Seva.
With Gur Parsaad we sat down and did the editing seva of the Sukhmani book by Dassan Dass ji and within a few minutes our mind went into humbleness, became focused on the words, became soothed and calm the more we read. 

By the end we realised that the last few weeks had been an atttack of our own ego.  Ego is dying when we do more naam simran and seva, but ego tried one last time to stand up and tell us that "I am a failure in the worldy pursuits and spiritual pursuits and relationships." so that I should go back to ego, to becoming something in the world.

But with Gur Parsaad we say to Baba Ji to please save us, we have seen the worldy pursuits and we will always be worse off compared to someone else and better off somprared to someone else, so we are happy we we are and dont want to ride into maya again on the horse of ego chasing desires.  

So always be alert as to the state of our mind – is it under Maya or under Gur Parsaad?
That is why Dassan Dass Ji has asked us to keep doing our ardas every 5 minutes for Gur Parsaad and also reading the articles on the website also cools the mind down, they are saturated in Gur Parsaad – eternal blessings of Dassan Dass Ji.
Dust of your feet