M’s heartfelt cry for Truth

28/07/04

I’m in search for so many things, meaning spiritual fruits, but where to begin I don’t know?

My searching thoughts my aspiring feelings soar high like a restless bird.
Forgetting everything else seeking the anhad shabad I have still not heard.
What is the mystic word that must be contemplated by a sikh.
This is the state of my soul, afraid life will be wasted away in sleep.

I have saved and read many times your previous emails, but I the fool still don’t understand anything.  You said to become one with the SatPurakh we have to follow the path to
Sat (Truth), please tell me how do I get on it and start the journey.  After so many years of being on this path to God I find myself walking around in a circle.  How am I ever to go further and develop.  Many times Maharaaj has revealed things to me by doing prema bhagti, but it seems these gifts come and go, but I can never move further.

You spoke of the mystic word, being Satnaam – will some beautiful soul bless me with Satnaam?    I too feel compelled now to find the support of a Sant Satguru if that’s what it will take to make progress.

As you said this life is a riddle, and you must become truthful and have the barrier of falsehood torn down, so paji I stand before you with my hands together and ask you to help me tear this barrier down and learn to serve truth/Sach.

I’ve written this email in one of my most lowest and powerful bhairaag states so if I have said anything to offend you with my foolishness then I am deeply sorry, but I hope that the arrow of my aim (this email) has pierced you and you may help me.

Jaitsree, Fifth Mehl:

koee jan har sio dhaevai jor ||
charan geho bako subh rasanaa dheejehi praan akor ||1|| rehaao ||
If only someone would unite me with the Lord!
I hold tight to His feet, and utter sweet words with my tongue;
I make my breath of life an offering to Him. ||1||Pause||

Its taken me a long time to be able to tell anyone these feelings I have shared in this email with you, and I really truly hope to maharaaj that you may some how help this worthless being.

Reply from Dassan Das Ji :

IK OANKAAR SATNAAM SATGUR PARSAAD
DHAN DHAN PAAR BRAHAM PARMESAR
DHAN DHAN GUR-GURU-SATGUR-GURBANI
DHAN DHAN SAT SANGAT GUR SANGAT SADH SANGAT
DHAN DHAN GUR PARSAAD AND GUR PARSAADI NAAM

Guru Pyari Beti M Ji:

God bless you with Sada Chad Di Kala; with Naam Bandgi and Seva, with continuous Gur Parsaad, with Suhaag and Sada Suhaag.

Your Bairaag is the Gur Parsaad; your desperation and frustration from the previous outside ritualism is the Gur Parsaad; anything that brings you closer to the eternal truth is the Gur Parsaad; your thought of e-mailing to us is the Gur Parsaad; your crying is the Gur Parsaad; it will wash your Hirda and make it pious so please don’t stop crying if you feel like, it is Gur Parsaad; it is the cry of an innocent child who is just born; it is a pure and pious cry with a longing to meet the Paar Braham Parmesar; to serve the Akal Purakh; to serve the Naam and you should be thankful to the Almighty for showering you with so much Gur Parsaad so quickly. You are being drawn closer and closer to the Almighty with every breath of yours.  Keep up your unconditional love with full devotion, belief, faith and trust and you will do great.

..( GAVE GIFT OF GURPRASADI NAAM…)

 

We have already spoken to you about ourselves; we are just a humble servant of yours; we are just a slave of the slaves; we are att neechan key att neech;  char yugan key att neechan key att neech; 14 lok parlok key att neechan key att neech; a piece of dirt of the charans of the entire creation; when Guru Nanak Patshah Ji, being Nirankaar Roop Himself have called Himself Neech: Nanak Neech Kahey Vichaar; Nanak Dassan Dass Tudh Aagey Binwatta; then how can we call ourselves anything else; and that is what you too have to become; you have to reach the heights of the humility and the humbleness, that is where the key to the Dargah is in unlimited humility and humbleness; Akal Purakh resides in the Hirda which becomes saturated with the unlimited, un-measurable, sea of humility and humbleness; every Shabad of the Gurbani is Shabad Guru: every Shabad is a complete eternal truth in itself; and that is what you have to become to reach the Almighty.

It is the innocence, humility, humbleness, commitment, belief, trust and faith in Gur, Guru and Gurbani that will take you to the heights of the spiritual world, these are the divine qualities that will bring you the Gur Parsaad of Suhaag and then Sada Suhaag. These divine qualities will make your Bandgi very easy and smooth, so please eliminate your own mind and your own wisdom and take the divine wisdom, take the Gurmat which is the Shabad Guru Gurbani, this will kill your ego and help you come out of the Web of Maya; surrender yourself completely to the Gur and Guru and you will reach the Ultimate.

God has Blessed you with all the spiritual treasures, He has already opened His eternal treasures to you, it depends on you now how much you can collect from this unlimited bank of eternal treasures, your progress will depend on your innocence, commitment, belief, faith, trust and exercising all the learning of the divine wisdom in your daily life, your own wisdom will hurt you whereas the divine wisdom will help you.

Keep up the communication.  You are now living in our Hirda, you will always remain in our prayers.

Dassan Das

31/7/04

Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam
Satnaam Satnaam Satnaam
Satnaam Sada Sada Satnaam
 
im not quite sure where to begin, i have a few things i want to ask, want to share so this email might seem a bit unorganised.
 
Firstly ive begin japping Satnaam, the amazing thing was, i first begun saying Satnaam with my tongue (rasna), but found myself often repeating it in my mind, then i would start again with my rasna but again would continue in my mind, i then realised that in ur email you said begin with rasna and continure in mind, so i didnt force anything, but let it continue.
 
i must tell you the truth, ive never really done simran  in my mind sitting still in one place for more than half an hour, so for me 2.5hours seems a bit too much. so ive begun with hour and with Guru Maharaajs kirpa the hours will extend.
 
But with the one hour, i had so many magical experiences. the first being simran beginning with the rasna would some how continue in my mind.   But then i begun having thoughts about other trivial family situations and would try still my mind again by not losing focus of Satnaam and found it more important to keep the numbers correct.
though i do not usually enjoy counting how many times i say satnaam, i found a rhythmic method to sing satnaam mentally that didnt allow me to count at all.
 
i found during the hour my body was detached from my mind, as though i could not feel my body, as before i began i had recently cut myself and the cut was hurting me, but when i began jap i cud not feel the pain nor any other part of my body, until i would lose my concentration and then i would have a bodily sensation such a twitch or itch.
 
thirdly, when i would jap Satnaam with concentration i would feel a pressure on my trikuti, but would find this pressure too powerful, that i would lose my concentration as soon as the pressure would be felt, so this pressure continued coming and going.
 
near the end of the hour, i would still continue with Jap Satnaam, but then would feel this astonishing peace, as though my whole jea is drenched in peace, my mind is still and is at peace. this feeling aspired me to continue, but my body felt fatigue and so i foundnd myself fighting against sleep.
 
thankyou so much for everything that you have done for this begger.
and i will continue to beg you to help this lost khojee atma to find a place at our Chojee preetams charan kamal.
and as always i am sorry if i have said anything foolish, for thats what foolish people like me do. maaf karna ji.
 
SatNaam SatNaam SatNaam
SatNaam SatNaam SatNaam
SatNaam Sada Sada SatNaam
Sant ji reply :

 

It looks like you are doing great; keep it up, the Simran is in Mind only; then it will travel to other parts of the body; with Rasna is Jaap; so keep on doing Simran in Mind; it has already gone into your Surat-mind; so that is really very good, just keep it doing and keep on enjoying the peace you are feeling, pressure at trikuti is the Amrit, which is very good, it will open all your divine doors, longer sessions of meditation will follow, just keep on praying for the Gur Parsaad for longer meditation sessions, and deep meditation sessions, Smadhi and Sunn Smadhee; your magical experiences will go beyond your imagination when you go into deeper and longer meditation sessions